Thank you for electing me president. Now to work!

Greetings Fellow EGADSerites,

It’s an honor to be elected as your president for the English Graduate Advancement and Development Society (EGADS!). The other officers and I are excited about the opportunity we all have, working together, to enhance the English graduate experience at UTB. We’re working hard to develop a program of professional development and to attract new people into the English graduate program.

Before I tell you more, a little story:

A man died and went before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said, “Ah, Mr. Jones, let me see here ... Hmmm. We don’t seem to have a record of you. Let me confer with the boss.”

St. Peter stepped away, and after a few minutes returned.

“Since we have a failure in our record keeping, we’re going to offer you a choice. Come with me, please.”

In a flash, Mr. Jones and St. Peter stood before two doors.

“You have two places to spend eternity, as you choose. Let me show you the first,” said St. Peter, and he opened the door to the right.

Inside were a bunch of emaciated and angry looking people circling around a huge cauldron of stew. Each had a huge spoon—eight-feet long—and as each person tried to eat with those huge spoons, most of the stew fell on the ground or, worse, spilled on each other and caused swear words and some fights to erupt.

“That doesn’t look so good,” said Mr. Jones.

“No,” said St. Peter. “That was Hell.” He paused, then continued, “Would you like to see the other room?”

“Yes, please, sir!”

“Let me show you Heaven, then, Mr. Jones.”

St. Peter opened the second door. Inside, the room looked identical. Same people, same stew, same everything. Except, the people all looked happy and well nourished.

“I don’t understand, sir. What is the difference between Heaven and Hell?”

“Ah,” said St. Peter, “In Heaven, they have learned to feed each other.”

Finishing graduate school and preparing for a career can be lonely. It’s hard work, too often done in isolation. It doesn’t have to be that way.

The job of the EGADS! officers is to lead the group, not be the group. This is your group, your graduate program, your career, your experience. The more you participate in EGADS!, the better your own education and career will be.

Over the next few weeks, the other officers and I will be inviting you to contribute your ideas and efforts in developing activities for the year. If you’re bubbling with ideas, e-mail any of the officers any time. At our next meeting on Wednesday, March 11, we’ll nail down our plans and spring into action. I hope you’ll be there to vote.

The more you put in, the more you will get out of it. Heaven or Hell: It’s your choice. Help us make the UTB English graduate program a Heaven for everyone.